DBT Mindfulness Skills and Wise Mind: Practical Mindfulness When Your Mind Will Not Sit Still

DBT mindfulness skills are practical ways to notice your thoughts, feelings and surroundings before deciding how to respond. They include Observe, Describe and Participate. Wise Mind is DBT’s term for considering both feelings and facts when choosing what to do.

When I mention mindfulness to clients in London or online across the UK, some tell me they find silent meditation difficult. They may find it hard to sit still or feel uncomfortable closing their eyes. Core mindfulness is one of the four DBT skills modules, and it can be practised in more than one way.

Does DBT Mindfulness Require Silent Meditation?

Mindfulness practice can involve sitting quietly or paying attention during an everyday activity. DBT incorporates mindfulness into its skills training, described in Linehan’s DBT Skills Training Manual (2015). You can explore different ways of practising with your therapist.

The aim is to notice an experience and consider how to respond. You might start with an ordinary task, such as washing a mug: notice the water, the feel of the mug and the movement of your hands. When your attention wanders, practise bringing it back to the task.

The Three States of Mind: Reasonable Mind, Emotion Mind, and Wise Mind

DBT uses three terms to describe how feelings and reasoning influence decisions. The Mersey Care NHS guide to DBT explains how Wise Mind brings emotional and reasonable perspectives together:

State of Mind	How It Operates	When It Helps	Where It Gets Stuck
Reasonable Mind	Cool, analytical, logical, task-focused, and led by facts and numbers.	Planning a project, analysing data, or navigating practical logistics.	Facts and tasks can dominate at the expense of feelings and values.
Emotion Mind	Hot, urgent, mood-dependent, and driven by current feelings and urges.	Creating art, responding to immediate physical danger, or grieving deeply.	Decisions can depend mainly on an immediate feeling or urge.
Wise Mind	The synthesis of Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind, adding intuitive knowing.	Making relationship decisions, setting boundaries, and choosing how to respond after a spike.	May take practice to consider both feelings and facts during distress.

Using Wise Mind in a Difficult Moment

Wise Mind means allowing room for emotion and reasoning in a decision. You can feel upset while considering the facts, your goals and your values.

For example, you might want to send an angry message. A Wise Mind check-in could mean noticing that urge, reading the message again and deciding whether to wait or ask a question. This describes an approach to a decision, rather than a particular sensation in your body.

The Three “What” Skills: What You Do When Practising DBT Mindfulness

The three What skills describe what you do with your attention: Observe, Describe and Participate. The three How skills describe how you approach the practice. Focus on one What skill at a time.

1. Observe: Noticing What Is Happening

Observing means noticing what you can sense in your surroundings, body or mind. Try wordless watching: notice the warmth of a cup or tension in your chest before describing it or deciding what to do.

2. Describe: Putting Observations into Words

Describing means putting words to what you notice. Separate an observation from an assumption about what it means. For example, “She has not replied for four hours” describes an event; “She is angry with me and our friendship is over” adds an interpretation.

You can also describe an internal experience: “I notice tension in my stomach, and I am having the thought that she is angry with me.” Naming the thought in this way is a practice in recognising it as a thought, rather than treating it as an established fact.

3. Participate: Giving Your Attention to the Activity

Participating means giving your attention to the activity you are doing. While cooking, making music or listening to a friend, practise taking part rather than continually evaluating your performance. If you notice that your attention has wandered, bring it back to the activity.

The Three “How” Skills: How You Practise DBT Mindfulness

While you choose one What skill at a time, you apply all three How skills simultaneously.

“How” Skill	Core Principle	Clinical Shift in Everyday Life
Non-judgementally	See, but do not evaluate as “good” or “bad”, “worthless” or “supposed to”.	Replace “I am pathetic for feeling anxious” with “I am feeling anxious right now, and my heart is beating fast.” Notice self-criticism as another thought, then return to the observation.
One-mindfully	Do one thing at a time with undivided attention; when your mind wanders, bring it back.	When eating, eat; when working, work, rather than half-worrying while trying to work, rest, and reply to messages at once.
Effectively	Choose an action that is useful for your goal in this situation.	Consider what you want to achieve and whether your next action helps you achieve it.

Adapting Mindfulness for ADHD and AuDHD

If sitting silently is uncomfortable or hard to sustain, you can try an eyes-open exercise or practise during gentle movement. In DBT for ADHD and AuDHD in London, we can explore which approach fits your attention, sensory preferences and everyday routine. The same practice will not suit everyone with ADHD or AuDHD.

For example, you might notice the feel of an object in your hand, listen to music or pay attention while walking. You can also link a brief check-in to an everyday activity, such as waiting for the kettle. If a practice makes you feel worse, pause and discuss it with your therapist. The NHS information on mindfulness explains that it is not helpful for everyone.

Using Mindfulness with Other DBT Skills

Mindfulness can be used alongside the other DBT modules. Noticing an urge or rising distress gives you something to discuss when choosing a distress tolerance skill, such as STOP. The choice depends on the situation and what you have practised with your therapist.

Describing what happened is also useful when practising Check the Facts within DBT emotion regulation skills. In a difficult conversation, you can practise returning attention to your goal while using DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills such as DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST.

Learning DBT Mindfulness in One-to-One Therapy

If you have found mindfulness difficult to practise on your own, we can try short exercises together and discuss what you notice. In one-to-one DBT-informed therapy in London and online across the UK, we can adapt the exercises to your attention and preferences.

Kind Soul Psych offers planned, one-to-one DBT-informed psychotherapy, not a comprehensive DBT programme (which includes a weekly skills group, between-session phone coaching, and a consultation team) and not crisis care. During our 50-minute weekly sessions, we practise short exercises using attention to sensations, movement or thoughts, then discuss which you find useful.

I practise from 96 Harley Street (W1G 7HY) and 335 City Road in Angel (EC1V 1LJ), and via secure online video across the UK. Individual 50-minute DBT-informed therapy sessions start from £225. You can ask about a free 20-minute initial consultation.

Kind Soul Psych does not provide emergency cover. If someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent mental health help in England, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option; see the NHS guidance on urgent mental health support. For free listening support, you can call Samaritans on 116 123.

Reviewed by Sabbir Ahmed, UKCP-registered psychotherapist (Reg. No. 2011164676) and EMCC-accredited therapeutic coach. This article is for educational purposes and does not create a therapist-client relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

References

1. Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. guilford.com
2. Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy guide. merseycare.nhs.uk
3. NHS. Mindfulness. nhs.uk
4. NHS. Where to get urgent help for mental health. nhs.uk